"..take in all the light and the darkness- living with that tension.."

"Life has it’s bewilderments, We look at things And can’t put it together it just doesn’t make sense. We have to live in the tension of the evil that is in the world and somehow God working it out for good. Maybe never understanding.

The answer may be that there is none. By answer I mean that it is going to somehow solve the problem.

I think we have to learn to live in tension. Yet, we can still figure out how to carry-on, and find meaning, still choose to love and carry the grief forward that becomes mysteriously life-giving to us and other people.

One of the secrets of life is living within that tension. Bitter ironies we must live with.

I can’t say that this will make the theological sense out of your experience therefore I won’t. There is no generic category of loss that is the same for everybody. No generic life.

“Life itself demands life from me. Pain stands on its own.”

“Postponement, deferral , part of this life …all thing considered- living is worth it.”

 Grace disguised- Jerry Sittser

Jerry Sittser: Life After Loss podcast everything-happens-with-kate-bowler

Kate mentions this tension is "Like an Aperture" (Minute 26:14), camera or your eye.

“I think of it as an aperture widening to be able to take in all the light and the darkness. My heart cracks open wider to take in both.”

Many times each day - 

And in the big scope of things there is so much beauty and then in the big scope of things there is such an unbearable amount of pain.”

“You have always been our refuge. Our ancestors made You their home long ago. Before mountains were born, before You fashioned the earth and filled it with life, from ages past to distant futures, You are truly God.

With every sun’s rising, surprise us with Your love, satisfy us with Your kindness. Then we will sing with joy and celebrate every day we are alive.

Psalm 90:1-2,14 VOICE

"..far corners of the earth to distant life-giving oceans.."

I was thinking about how i need help beyond my own strength to learn to live miles, hundreds of miles, thousands of miles from those we love and hold dear- family, relatives, and friends. How this distance is like a canyon so wide and deep ...I cannot cross at my own doing.

 I then thought about years ago in my spiritual life when i did not have a hope or answers on crossing the canyon that separated me from the One who went before me and made the way.

 Lastly I thought the solution today remains the same -to live each day with hope and faith to the next great memory and time we have together and also that God’s grace will sustain us --between the tender ache of the miles. 

Canyonlands is awe inspiring. The layers of rock of the canyon far beneath the earth would not have been visible without the erosion and sculpting.

 We encounter trials, detours, and change in our lives thinking they are surprises when all along God had a Sovereign plan for our good. He often reveals one season or layer at a time of our lives and uses our lives for his glory.

Each deeper layer reveals more of the preservation and displays a history of careful design.♥

“You leave us breathless when Your awesome works answer us 

by putting everything right. God of our liberation— 

You are the hope of all creation, 

from the far corners of the earth to distant life-giving oceans. 

With immense power, You erected mountains. Wrapped in strength, 

You compelled Choppy seas, crashing waves, and crowds of people 

To sit in astonished silence. Those who inhabit the boundaries of the earth are awed by Your signs, strong and subtle hints of Your indelible presence.

 Even the dawn and dusk respond to You with joy.”

Psalm 65:5-8 (Voice)